Wealth.

Oh, wealth, what a cursed being you truly are.

You are what people think they’re valued of,
yet you also are the harbinger of their destruction.

You are the thing every human being in this world look up to,
yet you also are the very thing every human being in this world despise

Everyone wants you, everyone joys being with you,
yet without you, you announces their start of sufferings

You are the trophy of every human being success
and You are the champion of every human being tarnishment

Oh truly, a cursed holy being.

As you can see, my perception and relationship with wealth is certainly a complex one. I grew with one quite sufficient sum of money yet my family also lost its fortunes by very lot. A little bit resentment that I had with my father was for the fact how much we lost our wealth in the process of treating him for 2 years. It was not cheap, It was really costly, and I still feel the impact to this very second.

Right now, I am doing my internship in the city that being called, central of Indonesia (as of now), Jakarta. There is no need to say that right now I am really lacking fucking lot of money. I thought I was a quite hedonistic person, but If you tell me that by being a hedonistic person mean that I ate two-three tofus a day, eat twice a day, with or without side dish, the main thing I eat is egg with rice, and the most hedonistic thing I probably do is playing with friend in a mall once a month or buying some stuffs in the minimarket. Then I would say ‘please, be damned this city of gold’.

This city is expensive, a truly expensive place, It does not make any sense how stupidly expensive this city is. I was trying to find a way to justify that I made a lot of expenses on very expensive things but no, the most expensive things I found are food and rent; two out of three the most basic things a human need to live. Even more so I guess It comes back to my mistake on buying a ticket to see my family on a very special holiday and trying to war an examination ticket for an exam that I would like to take.

Is this the life I’m supposed to endure and live? a constant struggle to eat and making payment for my rent? I hope this is a bad joke and everything will end soon (well it will in 1,5 month). And again, Please be damned, this city of gold.

This writing is a quite negative one but I don’t really care. I am quite frustrated right now. There is no way living like this is a way to live a life…… It’s too sad.

Living in Jakarta with the wage of Jogjakarta does not give you a human right to be satisfied. It gives you an empty stomach.